BALTIMORE – When Kyle Renald got on the subway for his afternoon commute, he expected to pop in his headphones and listen to his favorite band to pass the time. Instead, he was inexplicably forced to witness the unimaginable: a young woman breastfeeding her child.
“It was unbelievable,” a visibly shaken Renald told reporters. “Just a complete disregard for decency. I don’t want to see that on my commute,” he said while ogling a passing 19-year-old’s hint of cleavage.
Renald, who spent part of the morning sifting through an online library of lesbian porn, could not believe he was subjected to publicly witnessing such an explicit act. Preferring to privately satisfy himself to ample, firm breasts bouncing up and down, he was horrified at having one partially exposed to him on the subway.
“It’s just astounding that she would put it out there for the whole world to see,” Renald said.
Renald, who reportedly also enjoys the Hardee’s commercials where hot women eat burgers and let the juices drip down their barely covered chests, berated the young mother for degrading not only herself, but women in general.
“I just wish women would have more respect for themselves, you know?” Renald said as he purchased a Juggs magazine at a convenience store.