KANSAS CITY – With a mail route of approximately 690 stops, local carrier Dale Winters says he has become numb to the endless nudity and sexual depravity he witnesses on a daily basis.
“I figure 35 percent of the houses have someone at home during the day,” Winters said. “And apparently, those people don’t realize I can see right in their windows and front doors.”
An informal poll of area residents who stay home during the day found that the majority of them openly engage in sexual acts (either with their significant others or by themselves) in their living rooms, typically around the time mail is being delivered. The rest of the respondents are simply content to perform regular tasks, such as reading the newspaper, free of any clothing.
“I just wish you would all consider going back to your bedrooms instead of staying on the couch right by the open front door or giant bay window,” Winters said. “I know I’m satisfying all sorts of voyeuristic sexual fantasies, but I can hardly put into words some of the things I’ve seen. Those images will haunt me forever.”