12 Hidden Features You Can Unlock in ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5’
Sep30

12 Hidden Features You Can Unlock in ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5’

Great news, gamers and nostalgia enthusiasts: Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 5 is finally out! You’ll have hours of fun playing the latest installment in the series you originally loved as a kid, when you’d stay up all night beating every level with Funyuns-stained fingers, hopped up on Mountain Dew and unaware of life’s many eventual crushing disappointments. Best of all, though, is that THPS 5 is loaded with hidden...

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The Glorious Era of Pop Culture-Themed Metal Bands is Here
Sep28

The Glorious Era of Pop Culture-Themed Metal Bands is Here

I’ve recently learned about Okilly Dokilly, the Ned Flanders-themed metal band based out of Phoenix. When I first saw the picture of them, with those Ned Flanders outfits, I was intrigued, but cautious. I’ve seen niche metal bands pop up before, attempting to marry the concept of goofiness with brutal, punishing music. But the problem is that these bands have rarely been able to back up the concept with quality music....

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NASA Admits Face on Mars Has Been Eating All the Rovers
Sep28

NASA Admits Face on Mars Has Been Eating All the Rovers

BREAKING NEWS: Confirming reports initially leaked late last night, NASA has stated that the famed “face on Mars” has been consuming every Mars probe sent to the planet since 1971. “The time for transparency is now,” NASA administrator Charles Bolden stated. “There were suspicions since Mars 2 and we were finally able to confirm with Sojourner in 1997. So we’ve been sitting on this a while, but let it be known: The face on Mars is an...

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Pope Francis Connects With Suburban Youth
Sep26

Pope Francis Connects With Suburban Youth

    More jokes, at no extra...

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6 Insanely Hot Pictures of Breadsticks That Will Make Your Penis Move
Sep24

6 Insanely Hot Pictures of Breadsticks That Will Make Your Penis Move

These breadsticks are looking pretty lubed up. Nice and slick, perfect for sliding into your mouth with no resistance.   There we go, that’s the good stuff. So close you can practically taste it. So close it’s taking everything in your power not to lock the doors, close the curtains and set aside a four-hour block of private time between you and these throbbing rods of baked bread.   Holy shit, that’s nice....

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