Betting Odds on the Next Celebrity to Be Outed as a Monster

Jared Fogle

Now that Jared Fogle is going to prison (insert footlong jokes here) for charges related to possession of child pornography and having sex with minors, we can add another famous person to the long list of celebrities – often beloved – who have proven to be despicable, horrific monsters. Whether it’s Fogle, Bill Cosby, Stephen Collins, Hulk Hogan or any of the other celebrities who have dark and horrible secrets, the only thing we know for sure is that everybody is evil and the rate at which we are discovering this is increasing exponentially.

So who’s next? Here are the official betting odds to determine who will be the next celebrity outed as a demon walking among us:

Tom Hanks: 100-1

Kermit the Frog: 75-1

Quvenzhané Wallis: 60-1

The San Diego Chicken: 50-1

John Goodman: 40-1

Marmaduke: 37-1

Cal Ripken, Jr.: 35-1

Taylor Swift: 25-1

Jesus Christ: 20-1

Santa Claus: 17-1

King Friday XIII: 15-1

Air Bud: 13-1

Pope Benedict XVI: 12-1

Charlie Brown: 8-1

Mr. Peanut: 9-1

Ellen DeGeneres: 10-1

Dame Judi Dench: 7-1

Kirk Cameron: 6-1

Bernie Sanders: 4-1

North West: 3-1

Betty White: 2-1

Roger Goodell: 5-2



The Robot Butt Staff

Author: The Robot Butt Staff

We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

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