The Death of the Confederate Flag is (Hopefully) Here

Confederate Flag

Through the mystical power of common sense, it’s not hard to see the Confederate flag for what it is: not just a redneck truck accessory, but a historically powerful symbol of hatred and racism that, beyond all comprehension, continues to be celebrated and defended by millions of people.

It’s one of those things where you just feel powerless to do anything about it when you’re not busy being baffled at how this is, in fact, the world in which we live.

So now that we’re able to possibly see the oncoming death of the Confederate flag as a symbol for the masses, unfortunately spurred by unfathomable tragedy, it’s a cause for cautious optimism. Sure, there are going to be pockets of imbeciles who hang on to the flag “for all of other things it represents,” but these people will thankfully be harder to find as time goes on. In the United States, our ability to progress as a nation is often a slow, agonizing slog through ignorance and deep-rooted hatred, but when we finally achieve just a shred of that progress, it feels pretty good.

But this progress never should have taken this long. Many issues in our society are terribly complicated and it wouldn’t be doing them justice to try and boil them down to one singular talking point. But calling the fervor over the Confederate flag a “debate” would be giving it far more credit than it has ever deserved. It’s pretty easy, actually: if you feel “proud” when you look at the flag, you’re either woefully misinformed or you’re a piece of shit.

Sure, people argue that the flag is a symbol of history. People also like to argue that the South was fighting for so much more than slavery during the Civil War; they were fighting for “states’ rights.” Of course, it was the states’ rights to slavery, but whatever. It doesn’t matter if the flag was never actually the official flag of the Confederacy – none of that flimsy early history matters, because the flag itself became an iconic symbol of the push for continued segregation in the mid-20th century, as it was adopted by the maniac Dixiecrats and everyone’s buddies over at the Ku Klux Klan.

If you want to be associated with those types of people, that’s all well and good. But it should be known that you’re on the wrong side of history, and generations down the road are going to be making fun of people like you for being such a dumbass.

There is no solution to this issue other than the complete removal of the flag everywhere. The process has already begun: Walmart, Sears and eBay won’t be selling Confederate flag merchandise anymore, and many others are sure to follow suit soon. Even Mississippi House Speaker Philip Gunn has said it’s time to remove it from the state flag.

That’s a good start! But that slog towards true progress isn’t taking a break here, either. Mike Huckabee, who has proven to be a wonderful and glorious idiot, initially balked on the notion of whether or not the Confederate flag should be removed from the South Carolina Capitol grounds:

“But … if you can point me to an article and section of the Constitution in which a United States president ought to weigh in on what states use as symbols, then please refresh my memory on that,” he said. “But for those of us running for president, everyone’s being baited with this question as if somehow that has anything to do whatsoever with running for president. And my position is, it most certainly does not.”


“As president, you’re focused on the economy, keeping America safe,” Mr. Huckabee continued. “Some really big issues for the nation. I don’t think they want us to weigh in on every little issue in all 50 states that might be an important issue to the people of that state but not on the desk of the president.”


(Source: The Washington Times)

Naturally, he’s gone back on those words and praised South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley’s desire to remove the Confederate flag from the state Capitol. But other than just being the spineless turd he usually is, Huckabee didn’t say anything about the flag initially because he has to be very careful to not piss off an unfortunately sizable portion of his voting base. He’s not afraid to weigh in on the transgender community, but the Confederate flag’s removal? Can’t touch that one!

I’ve always been of the belief that the president shouldn’t just be a humanoid with a suped-up Economy Tracker 5000 chip installed into its hard drive. In my silly little perfect world, the President of the United States is a human, so I’d like to hear a candidate’s thoughts on important stuff like this.

The people Huckabee tried so desperately to not offend are the same people living in a world of unfounded fear. I was listening to Rush Limbaugh today (I’m a very self-loathing Republican sometimes) and he made the point that all of this attention on the Confederate flag is only a precursor to what will most assuredly be a future attack on the American flag itself. That one day “they” will go after it and make sure it’s never seen or sold again.

People who believe that are the same people who believe that President Obama is going to come to their door and personally confiscate all of their guns. These are the people who hate that we’re turning yet another gun-related massacre (you know, those isolated incidents) into a reasonable discussion over the handling of firearms and racist symbols in this country. Believe it or not, Obama and the government aren’t coming for your guns. All they’d like for you to consider is a world where it’s not so damn easy for a psychopath to get his/her hands on weapons.

Just take a step back for a second. Even if you’re way into guns (I do like shooting them), just think about our country for a moment. In the last handful of years, shooting rampages have made movie theaters, malls, churches and elementary schools dangerous places to be. You’re cool with that? If there was a way to make it even a liiiiiiittle bit harder for a would-be murderer to get his/her hands on a gun, you wouldn’t want to consider it?

I’m not saying I have the right solution in mind, but I imagine there has to be a better plan of action for the United States in relation to guns and something like the Confederate flag than the current strategy of doing, uh, nothing.

Again, slow, slow steps to progress.

You really just have to ask yourself: What kind of world do I want to live in? What kind of world do I want my children to live in? Am I okay with expecting mass shootings each year like the start of baseball season? Do I want my kids to grow up thinking symbols like the Confederate flag and what it stands for are okay?

If you’re okay with all of that, that’s fine. I just hope you’re sterile.



Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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