Excellent Rap Lyrics, Volume XIII: Mac Miller Has Terrible Taste in Movies

Mac Miller Ariana Grande The Way

“Come on baby, I’ve got ‘Employee of the Month’ on DVD.”

“The Way” was really where the world started to get to know Ariana Grande. Easily blessed with one of the best voices out there, Grande burst onto the scene in 2013 with a song that, if you didn’t know any better, you’d swear was a Mariah Carey jam.

It’s a great pop song (and it has more than 240 million views on YouTube), except for one little hiccup: Mac Miller is a goddamn idiot on this track.

As is the case with so many pop songs these days, Mac Miller’s got himself a rap verse shoehorned into what is otherwise a classic. And in that verse, he proves to be the least suave person on planet Earth. He raps about having Ariana Grande over to watch a movie, which is all well and good, but the movies he recommends should have Grande running in the other direction:

“You’re a princess to the public, but a freak when it’s time
Said your bed be feeling lonely, so you’re sleeping in mine.
Come and watch a movie with me,
American Beauty or Bruce Almighty that’s groovy.
Just come and move closer to me, I got some feelings for you,
I’m not gonna get bored of, but baby you’re an adventure
So let me come and explore you.”

I don’t care if Miller’s ultimate intention is to just get it on with Grande – those are the first two movies that pop into his head? An overrated, forgettable Oscar winner (also, who the fuck would ever want to put on American Beauty for a date night?) and a lukewarm comedy that’ll put Grande to sleep long before it ever revs her up? You’re supposed to at least start the night off with something halfway decent so you don’t completely embarrass yourself in front of a woman.

Miller makes it sound like the only movies he’s ever seen are the ones that show up on TBS or TNT. He’s the kind of guy who will watch Without a Paddle four times in a day just because the channel is showing it. Movies like Bruce Almighty are made for cable on a Saturday afternoon, when you’re too hungover or tired to reach for the remote, so you just sit there and take it, feeling nothing inside. It’s the ultimate example of the barren mid-2000’s comedy landscape, and it’s not something anyone should willingly aim to watch.

Except that’s apparently one of Mac Miller’s ALL-TIME FAVORITE movies, because he’s going to watch it with a girl who is lightyears out of his league. And he obviously thinks he’s going to score with Ariana Grande thanks to it; otherwise, he wouldn’t be name-dropping the movie.

This is Mac Miller actually trying and, like the rest of us, he ends up looking like a total jabroni in front of a beautiful woman.

 




Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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