Bryce Harper Found Himself in a High-Quality Baseball Beef With Reds Pitcher Tony Cingrani
May30

Bryce Harper Found Himself in a High-Quality Baseball Beef With Reds Pitcher Tony Cingrani

Baseball beefs are the best, and the most fun baseball beefs are the ones that revolve around maintaining the “integrity of the game.” In other words, if you do something that another player feels is an egregious affront to the holiness of the greatest game on Earth, then you, my friend, have become embroiled in a fresh baseball beef. That’s exactly what happened to Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper on...

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Things You Should Know About: ‘World of Tomorrow’
May30

Things You Should Know About: ‘World of Tomorrow’

Unless you’ve been living in an underground bunker for fifteen years, you’ve seen Don Hertzfeldt’s Rejected (If you have been living in an underground bunker for fifteen years, use that “Google thing” to look up something called “9/11”). Although Rejected is certainly Hertzfeldt’s most famous work, he’s been steadily making animated films since his art school days, producing fun pieces like Genre and Billy’s Balloon, along with more...

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Sports Fans Rejoice Knowing Corruption Only Present in Soccer
May29

Sports Fans Rejoice Knowing Corruption Only Present in Soccer

ZURICH – With the arrest of several high-ranking FIFA officials this week, sports fans around the world have breathed a collective sigh of relief knowing that corruption has finally been eliminated from professional athletic competitions. “I’m just glad they finally got the guys,” said Bob Smithers, an avid American football enthusiast. “It’s nice to know we don’t have to wonder about the legitimacy of the outcomes of games and...

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Mad Max: Furry Road
May28

Mad Max: Furry Road

    More jokes, at no extra...

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FIFA’s in Trouble Because Some Soccer Stuff Happened
May28

FIFA’s in Trouble Because Some Soccer Stuff Happened

On Tuesday, the entire roundtable of the most powerful soccer super-lords, called “FIFA” amongst themselves, were asked to return to the United States to face charges that their sport makes too much money or something. The whole thing seems like a real hullabaloo and would be better if it could just make some kind of sense. Seven to nine official ball-holders (right?) for soccer were rounded up in total from Zurich, where soccer may...

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