Gengar Will Be in ‘Pokkén Tournament,’ Which is Bullshit

Pokémon Title

A few months ago, I got all worked up about a Pokémon fighting game that would be hitting arcades in Japan, and only Japan, this year because I am being punished for all of my past sins. Well, over the weekend we got some more news on that front, as a trailer for the ghost Pokémon Gengar as a playable character showed up online.

My initial reaction was: AWESOME THIS JUST GOT EVEN BETTER AND HOLY SHIT DID HE JUST MEGA EVOLVE HE DID THAT’S SO TIGHT. Gengar is a badass Pokémon, so including him seems like a no-brainer. Ghost Pokémon in general are pretty sweet, so I was happy to see arguably the best one added to the roster.

But then I realized that Gengar is a ghost Pokémon in a fighting game. This is actually quite a bit of bullshit. Fighting and normal attacks have no effect on ghost Pokémon, which makes sense since they usually require physical contact. I don’t know the last time you gave a ghost a high-five or a butt slap, but in my experience they’re pretty hard to touch.

Much like MC Hammer type

Much like the MC Hammer-type

Including Gengar in a fighting game is just ridiculous. To make it realistic, the game would have to make it so that any kind of punch or kick would not do any damage to Gengar, which would make him nearly unstoppable. There would be no point in choosing anyone else. But while allowing those normal melee attacks to do damage would make things more even, it would also spit in the face of Pokémon physics.

So I don’t know what your thinking is, Pokkén Tournament, but this game that features an electric rat firing thunderbolts at Blue Goro just doesn’t make sense anymore.

Machamp used Fair Use.  It's super effective!

Machamp used Fair Use. It’s super effective!

 

 




Tim Gaydos

Author: Tim Gaydos

Tim is a contributor for Robot Butt and is not hosting a parasitic xenomorph inside him, so just don't worry about it, ok? You can disagree with his opinions on Twitter @timthinksthings.

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