Deep down, Chris Christie most definitely wants to be the next President of the United States; the only problem is that no one likes him.
He seems to have realized this, so in order to stay relevant and pretend like he stands some sort of chance to be elected, he’s reinventing his character by going full heel in his presidential bid, starting off with a strong vendetta against marijuana, which at this point in our country’s history, pretty much only makes you a target for cynicism (though possibly the hero among sheltered religious loonies) and wrath.
In true heel fashion, this is a bold stance that just about everyone will hate. This is Christie cutting his promo in the middle of the ring, flipping off the crowd with both middle fingers while everyone boos him mercilessly.
But he revels in it. He feeds off the negativity, because it only props him up further. Like any great heel, Christie can’t be after our hearts. He has to summon our anger and rage and try to ride that to the top because, a lot of the time, a heel’s act can end up becoming so beloved that it somehow turns him into a hero. And in this abysmal Republican race, it’s certainly worth a shot.
Last week, Christie told conservative Iowa radio host Hugh Hewitt that he would “crack down” on marijuana, calling it a gateway drug like an 8th grade health teacher. If elected president, Christie claims he would enforce the federal marijuana law across the country, making it impossible for states to sell it and make tons of money in doing so.
This is not the first – and it won’t be the last – dumb, polarizing thing Christie has said, but as a possible presidential bid starts to ramp up, people are going to be paying way more attention. This is when the heel really needs to feed off the crowd’s negativity. Christie was never going to be the face of the Republican race, but he sure as hell doesn’t want to waste away in the middle of the pack. So in a pool of certifiably insane candidates (Ted Cruz could easily be a heel, but he’s too far convinced that he can be a face), Christie is aiming to be the group’s ultimate villain. Jim Ross would be as inconsolable as ever after a turn like this.
Christie has absolutely no shot at winning the Republican nomination, but it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun watching him go down in flames. He’ll make a ton of money in the process, become an even bigger name in the political realm and ride that wave to all sorts of appearances, book deals and more. Not everyone can be the champ, but the heel is a role that can be just as juicy and lucrative when held by the right person.
Chris Christie sees the opportunity and is already laying claim to it. I can’t wait to see what his challengers bring to the table.