Robot Butt Endorses Marco Rubio For President in 2016

Marco Rubio

Yeah, we just endorsed Hillary Clinton. But then we saw that Marco Rubio announced his candidacy and, well, there’s just something about him. His attempts to pass comprehensive immigration reform. The passion in his voice when he speaks. His perfect hair and piercing eyes. It’s just something we’re drawn to.

And, yeah, we know we’re supposed to go for Hillary. She would be the first female president, and that’s supposed to be something we want. It would be undoubtedly cool. But Rubio would be the first Latino president. And thinking about him keeping us safe from ISIS, in his warm embrace, is just very comforting.

It’s all so very confusing. This whole election thing has really got us thinking. Everyone else is saying that Hillary is the sure thing, that she’s the one to pick. But it’s the guys in the race that are most interesting to us. Especially Rubio, with his strong, handsome face and soft smile. We…we just don’t know what to think about all of this.

We appreciate Hillary. But we can’t lie to ourselves. We need to embrace how we feel. And since Marco Rubio is the best and dreamiest candidate for president, we’d really like to get behind him.



The Robot Butt Staff

Author: The Robot Butt Staff

We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

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