God Punished a Man in New Jersey For Choosing to Eat at Applebee’s


They say God works in mysterious ways, that we never know exactly how he’ll make Himself known to us. But for one praying man in a New Jersey Applebee’s in 2010, he had an experience so many people can only dream of. God actually answered back.

And just what did the Lord say to this man?

Why, my son? Why must you defile the one body I have given you?

As the man bowed over his piping-hot steak fajita skillet, God sent him a message by creating a grease pop that would burn the man’s left eye and face. And to further His point about the nearly unforgivable sin of eating at Applebee’s, when so many other food options are always within a respectable distance, God allowed the man to panic and dump the rest of the steaming skillet on his lap.

The man wasn’t scarred, but he was obviously scared, and rather than simply accept the atonement for his egregious mistake of willingly entering an Applebee’s establishment, he tried to actually sue Applebee’s over the perceived negligence of the restaurant for not telling him to avoid sticking his face directly into a sizzling steak fajita skillet. But God had one more piece of heavenly justice to dole out; a New Jersey appellate court said the man was not allowed to sue.

A vengeful God is always the most fun, or at least the most interesting, God. Lucky for us, He doesn’t just rest on His laurels, allowing Himself to get rusty in the punishment department. He isn’t afraid to dip back into his quick-tempered past and pull out a little Old Testament justice just for fun every now and then. Unconditional love for every boneheaded idiot that walks around the Earth has to get boring, so it’s comforting to know that even the Lord needs to let loose every once in a while.


Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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