Man Playing Risk Feels Thrilling Rush of Committing War Atrocities

Risk Game

TULSA, Okla. – As he ordered thousands of troops to their deaths in order to illegally occupy a neighboring nation, local man and avid Risk player Derek Russell began to feel the thrilling and unique rush of power that can only come with the act of committing unspeakable war crimes.

In a bold and horrifying maneuver, Russell began his game by immediately disregarding Article 39 of the United Nations Charter with an unprovoked and illegal attack on a neighboring country. With the heady rush of a successful land grab still ringing in his ears, Russell soon learned that he had developed an insatiable thirst for more.

As the game continued, he smoothly transitioned from simple takeovers into wanton destruction of cities, towns and villages, leaving absolutely no survivors behind and clearly breaking every international law that the Hague and Geneva Conventions had ever laid down.

But with every territorial expansion, Russell was left lusting for more power. As the endgame approached, Russell, once a mild-mannered Midwest accountant, finally declared his intention to “systematically purge the world of all green men,” thus instituting an official policy of genocide.

As of 10:03 p.m., he achieved that goal, won his game of Risk, lost three friends and was left wondering how much more thrilling it would be to commit atrocities in a real war.


Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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