Your Top 25 Expected Regrets of 2015

New Year's Regrets in 2015

New Year’s Eve is a time for celebration, but it can also be a time for careful reflection and planning.

That’s why it’s good to look ahead and figure out ahead of time what you’ll most regret the most this time next year. So to help you get started, here are 25 things that are sure to make you feel ashamed and embarrassed in 2015:

1. Catching up on “Serial,” realizing no one wants to talk about it anymore.

2. Taking that “Which Way Will You Suddenly Die in 2015?” BuzzFeed quiz.

3. Making an all-too-ambitious New Year’s resolution, so that when your drive to achieve it fizzles out sometime at the end of February, you just feel like a failure and eat a whole thing of Ben & Jerry’s.

4. Eating a whole thing of Ben & Jerry’s.

5. Making your resolutions too easy to accomplish, finishing them in a week, and then drifting aimlessly for the rest of the year.

6. Buying a gym membership, going to the gym, getting super ripped and alienating all your friends with your strength and good looks.

7. You quit smoking and use the money you save to go to Vegas! Lose a few bucks on the craps table but hit up the ATM. Run out of money. Make your way over to the casino’s loan center. With just a few more bets you’re sure to win!

8. The inevitable weekend where you have Chipotle three times.

9. Asking your uncle in a half-joking manner next Thanksgiving if he’s ready for the 2016 election.

10. Finding out that Nigerian prince who was begging for your help was actually real.

11. Changed your default search engine to Yahoo.

12. Get roped into talking to someone working at a mall kiosk and making them believe you’re actually going to buy something.

13. Wasting your time with friends when you pay all that money for a Netflix account each month.

14. Commenting on someone’s Facebook post about police violence.

15. Asking that friend about how she’s doing.

16. Giving everyone an Ouya for Christmas.

17. Wasting a 10/10 fart in a room by yourself.

18. Announcing your resolution to not post meaningless updates on social media through social media.

19. Discovering it’s actually 2016 and you’ve lost another year again.

20. Running a marathon.

21. Forgetting the Alamo.

22. Accidentally congratulating Grandma at Grandpa’s funeral.

23. Once again believing that Dr Dre’s Detox – or whatever it’s going to be called now – is going to be released.

24. Continuing to think that Ello is going to be the next big thing.

25. Mistakingly using the word “continual” instead of “continuous” when talking to that cute girl about your nonstop self-hatred.

 




The Robot Butt Staff

Author: The Robot Butt Staff

We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

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