HOLLYWOOD – Relativity Media announced today that they were indefinitely canceling the release of The Woman In Black: Angel Of Death after a ghost promised retaliation if it is showed in theaters.
“You Will Regret Playing This Movie – If You Do I Will Haunt A Theater” read a message found in the bathroom of Relativity Media’s offices, written on a fogged-over mirror. Studio heads pulled the plug on the film without any indication of a future release date.
The decision has been met with wide condemnation from the media and public, citing this as a defeat for creative expression. Relativity Media executive Charles Harper has responded to these allegations.
“We stand behind the creative visions of our filmmakers, as long as absolutely no one is upset by those visions,” he said.
Critics of the decision pointed out that the message mentions a singular theater out of the approximately 40,000 screens in the United States, as well as the fact that the decision was being made because of a ghost. But Harper was steadfast.
“We just can’t take that chance.”
Studio executives are attempting to try and negotiate with the ghost through the use of a Ouija board, but as of this posting they were spooked by a noise outside the window and ran out of the room.