Office Secret Santa Has Impossibly Complicated Rules

Office Secret Santa



To get in the office holiday spirit, I thought we could bring back Secret Santa this year. If you’re interested in participating, here’s how it works:

The Drill

Each participant will randomly pull a name out of a cup. Find the person whose name you drew and ask them who they last had lunch with. Take the first letter of the first name of that person and pick a card under that letter from the Holiday Gift Board in the 7th floor break room.

You will then be tasked with getting a small gift for that person for three Secret Santa days. Remember that this is “Secret Santa” and your employee contract makes it explicitly clear you are not to at any time divulge your identity. Failure to comply with this will be met with termination and legal proceedings. At the end of the week, we’ll meet at a designated time to try to guess who our Secret Santa (or Ms. Santa) was!

Keep in mind that Sheila hates cats. Do not purchase anything with cats on it for Sheila.

At least one Dancing Coke Can, Big Mouth Billy Bass or Rapping Santa must be included for each regional office.

Secret Santa Dates

The fun starts on the 2,511th anniversary of the first Roman Saturnalia festival!

Note: Gifts can be dropped off between 1:15 and 2 pm, after ADDNL meetings, or during SSC breaks.

Money Limit

Each gift should be no more than 0.17% of your deductible salary after taxes. No cheating! Keep in mind, it’s not necessary to give store-bought items. I think we’d all happily accept homemade baked goods.

Want to get in on the fun?

Send me a notarized letter by this Friday COB if you want to participate. I will send out a separate email with an invite to choose names on Monday, December 8.


Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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