Did You Know That These Four Cannibals Loved the McRib?


As we continue our investigation into the very real possibility that the McRib is made of human meat, we have stumbled upon some startling facts regarding the sandwich’s history.

Perhaps the most chilling aspect of the McRib’s existence is that numerous cannibals have been known to eat it and enjoy it thoroughly, more so than any self-respecting person should. Of course, we can’t exactly explain why, but our instincts tell us it has something to do with what could be the McRib’s main ingredient.

Here are four infamous cannibals we found who were known to be fans of the sandwich:

  • Issei Sagawa, a free man ever since 1986, had his first and only taste of human meat in 1981. Later that year, the McRib was released to the public, and he has refrained from the addictive consumption of human meat ever since. Does McDonald’s re-release the McRib from time to time to save the lives of his would-be victims?
  • Jeffrey Dahmer, otherwise known as the Milwaukee Cannibal, is one of the most notorious serial killers and cannibals of all time. His crimes are truly heinous, and as his story became known to the public, many employees of area McDonald’s recalled that Dahmer would stop in with great frequency to order the McRib while it was being sold.
  • In February of 2000, Katherine Knight killed her partner John Price and cooked his corpse, hoping to feed the meat to his children. Accusations abound that she herself tried to eat the body parts but was ultimately unable, and, thankfully, the children were not subjected to the human meat. The interesting note here is that this occurred during one of the periods when the McRib was not being sold in McDonald’s restaurants. Coincidence? Or was Knight driven mad by a hunger for human flesh that only the McRib could have satisfied?
  • Vince Weiguang Li is a Chinese man who immigrated to Canada in 2001, becoming a citizen in 2006. Possibly stemming from a trip to the United States, it has been discovered that Li absolutely loved the McRib. But he was sent into a homicidal rage upon learning that the sandwich was not offered anywhere in Canada. Without any other way to get his fix, Li savagely murdered a man on a bus in 2008 and ate parts of his body. Since the incident, McDonald’s has offered the McRib in Canada and no such incidents have happened again.

These are just four examples; there are still countless cannibals to investigate, and should we uncover more horrifying connections to a love for the McRib, you can rest assured knowing we won’t be afraid to report them.

Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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