This Week in Target’s Advertising: Set Up Your Child for a Terrible Future

Future Douchebag

You might not realize it, but the display advertising you find in Target stores can range anywhere from being hilarious to downright terrifying. Here, we will chronicle this demented segment of the retail world.

In the nature vs. nurture debate, this is definitely a case for a parent’s influence directly – and negatively – impacting a child’s future. According to the in-store advertising at Target (which you’ll find to the right), if you dress your child like this, he’ll be ready to take on recess! But what it’s really saying is that while he’s ready for recess now, he’ll be ready to become a frat guy douche in the future.

The rolled-up T-shirt sleeves. The beaded bracelet. The cap that isn’t supposed to keep you warm at all, just look cool. The unstained, designer-looking sweatpants that have the giant white drawstring. Yep, there will soon come a day when this kid will be walking to a college class just like this, fresh off a night of blacking out and acting deplorable in front of misguided young women. He’ll be majoring in Business and looking forward to working at a bank. Any bank, really. His hair might still look like that.

Look, no parent wants his kid to look like a poindexter on the playground, but this isn’t how you go about ensuring that. If you go this route, you’re just heading in the opposite direction, setting him up for a life of douchebaggery.

This is what Target wants for your kid, but you don’t have to listen.

Previous Weeks in Target’s Advertising: Dodgeball Bros

Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

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