The rap game has been all over Christmas, from Christmas on Death Row (which includes the perfect “Santa Claus Goes Straight to the Ghetto”) to Run-D.M.C.’s “Christmas in Hollis” to Eazy-E’s “Merry Muthaphuckkin’ Xmas” to a whole slew of other old-school and even some new-school offerings, there is no shortage of hip hop and rap songs about Santa, presents and general mayhem around Christmas time.
But where’s the love for Halloween? Sure, there are countless rap songs about murder, internal demons, doing some pretty psycho stuff, etc. But none of them are really outright about Halloween itself. Are Bobby Pickett’s “Monster Rap” (the rapping sequel to “Monster Mash”) and “A Nightmare on My Street” really the only things we have going?
That’s not to say I don’t appreciate either, especially “A Nightmare on My Street,” a DJ Jazzy Jeff and Fresh Prince collaboration. It’s fantastic. A lot of the song is about the Fresh Prince straight-up dissing Freddy Krueger to his face when he asks him to be his partner in collecting the souls of neighborhood kids. Not for any moral reasons, but because the Fresh Prince says, “Look, I’ll be honest man, this team won’t work. / The girls won’t be on you Fred, your face is all burnt!”
The Fresh Prince also points out that Freddy wears the same damn tattered sweater every day, which is no doubt going to ice any chance the Prince has with the ladies. So if Freddy was at least presentable and not “burnt like a weenie,” it sure seems like the Prince would be down to do some soul-stealing.
Some credit does have to be given to Eminem and his song “Underground”. In it, he talks of fighting Michael Myers, Hannibal Lecter, Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, which are pretty solid horror references. But then he fights Edward Scissorhands, too, which is baffling and pretty weak of him. Has Eminem even seen the movie?
So as far as iconic mainstream Halloween rap goes, it feels like this is pretty much it. Sure, there are little Halloween references here and there, but there aren’t any full songs out there about trick or treating with your boys or getting into fights with werewolves. It’s all veiled real-life stuff about being a tortured psycho or murderer, which is all too generic. Why are rappers taking the holiday so seriously these days?
We need to break out of this disappointing and forgettable anti-Halloween rap slump. We need hip hop that covers subjects like:
- Jack-o’-lantern gangs
- The pain of having to constantly buy fresh and expensive clothes when you’re a werewolf
- How to go trick-or-treating like a G
- You being the one to scare ghosts
- Dracula’s status as an all-time pimp
- Gang wars against zombies
- Going all Dr. Frankenstein by creating your own monster from inside prison
- Being so iced out that even witches want you
- Every day feeling like Halloween
Halloween rap is a subgenre just waiting to be tapped, so who’s going to step up?