Everyday Monsters

Horrible human

The world is full of sick, demented freaks. Just look at a few of the most recent monsters we’ve come across:


“I was at the coffee shop one morning and I saw a quarter fall out of a woman’s hand. I picked it up and kept it for myself. Later, she came back looking for it and I said nothing.” – Richard, Texas


“I brush my teeth with warm water.” – Julia, Massachusetts


“A friend once asked if I could pick him up from the airport. I politely said no, citing a big workload that I could not escape. I stayed home instead and ate a foot-long meatball sub, following that up with a five-hour nap.” – Tim, Florida


“I saw Jonah Hex four times in theaters.” – Benjamin, Oregon


“My coworker was out sick one day. I was walking by his desk and spotted a really nice pen, so I just took it.” – Brian, Maryland


“I give out samples at grocery stores, and when people try something but don’t buy it, I do my best to make them feel guilty.” – Janice, Oklahoma


“I’m a drive-time radio DJ.” – Franklin, Virginia



The Robot Butt Staff

Author: The Robot Butt Staff

We're the Robot Butt staff, hired right after the experiment of typewriting monkeys went horribly wrong.

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