Can you believe that Miranda Kerr is actually a supermodel? She is a monster in every sense of the word – not just physically, but emotionally as well. And yet, we’ve allowed her to infiltrate the sacred world of modeling and poison our idea of true beauty. Up until now, no one has been brave enough to expose her for what she is, but we’re finally taking a stand.
Don’t believe us? The amount of evidence is staggering:
1) This disgusting crease in her left wrist will make you want to vomit. And look at that provocative pose, trying to seduce us. First of all, yeah right. Secondly, that’s doing nothing but distracting us from the product she’s attempting to sell, which is the whole point of this.
2) Uh, nice ear lobe, Miranda. Seriously, this is what passes for a supermodel these days. Plus, that expression says she’s up to no good, and that’s just a terrible message to send to kids. There’s nothing “super” about this model.
3) You couldn’t smile any wider? Do you even want us to feel anything?
4) There are almost too many issues here to count. First of all, that’s a really suspicious amount of sand stuck to you, Miranda. Did you coat yourself in honey or something? So desperate. And we can barely see the swimsuit in the first place through all that sand, which feels pretty disrespectful to the designer.
From stray hairs just flowing freely all over her face to MULTIPLE armpit creases and an absolutely impossible-to-ignore vein about to burst right out of her arm, this might be the most heinous picture of this “model” we’ve ever seen.
5) Oh great, here she is laughing away while some poor photographer is working tirelessly trying to do something – anything – to make her look remotely attractive in a picture. The photographer and his/her team are just desperately trying to not get sand on their equipment and you’re treating it all like a big joke. NOW you’ll show us a true smile. Horrendous, but what else should we all expect?