King Tut Still Got Laid More Than You

King Tut Disgusting

As we are now finding out, King Tutankhamun sure didn’t have a lot going for him physically. According to a recent “virtual autopsy,” comprised of more than 2,000 computer scans, and a genetic analysis of Tut’s family, he had a whole mess of problems, including large, girlish hips, a club foot and buck teeth.

And to make matters worse, instead of being the vaunted chariot racer that history has suggested, Tut could only move around with the help of a walking stick.

There’s an explanation for his unfortunate appearance, too: Tut’s parents were most definitely brother and sister. So with all of these things wrong with him, stemming a lot from his incestuous parents (a practice Egyptians were apparently pretty down with at the time), surely nobody in ancient Egypt wanted to sleep with Tut, right?

Oh wait, except for the fact that he was the pharaoh and he probably got laid all the time. That is, if he even had a functioning penis.

Even though he looked nothing like his majestic coffin would suggest, that the king was really more of a monster than anything, you can bet that there were Egyptian babes all over King Tut all the time. Putting up with his drooling, incoherent gibberish and unpredictable bowels just to get that sweet taste of royalty.

So while you read this, keep in mind that even a guy who looked like this definitely got laid more than you ever will.



Steve DiMatteo

Author: Steve DiMatteo

Steve is an editor for Robot Butt. You can follow him on Twitter @steve_dimatteo.

Share This Post On