ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Researchers at the University of Michigan have released a groundbreaking new study reporting conclusively that the K-T extinction event 65 million years ago was caused by a lethal mix of dinosaur pride and self-confidence.
“In the last few decades, we’ve learned a great deal about dinosaurs’ dietary habits, their anatomy, and even their social structure,” McNeil said. “But this latest research is the first to give us a good close look at their cocky attitudes and all around nasty nature.”
“From petrified swaggering footprints and who-gives-a-shit nest layouts to bravado in the face of more predatory dinosaurs, we can say with certainty that hubris was the ultimate cause of this extinction,” explained lead researcher Dr. Erin McNeil.
“These animals had millions of years to develop the intelligence necessary to create meteor monitoring systems and space-going vessels, but instead they frittered away their time walking around like the cock-of-the-block,” said McNeil. “I’m not surprised they were all killed, and frankly I say ‘good riddance to bad trash.'”
Included in the research was a number of recommendations on how the dinosaurs might have been able to be taken down a few pegs before things got so out of hand. Recommendations included getting over themselves, taking a good long look in the mirror, and thinking about someone else for a change.
Members of the scientific community also let reporters know that this finding could provide a rare insight into an era many millions of years ago when hubristic attitudes roamed freely across North America.
Concluding the presentation and walking to his Hummer in the parking lot, Dr. Neil added, “It’s an amazing opportunity to study hubris in the face of certain destruction. One that I can’t imagine getting anywhere else.”