Ray Rice Receives Two-Game Suspension, All-Expenses-Paid Trip To Disney World

Ray Rice

Baltimore, MD – As punishment for beating his fiancé and knocking her unconscious, the NFL has decided to penalize All-Star running back Ray Rice with a two-game suspension and an all-expenses-paid trip to Disney World.

“Actions like this will not be tolerated and will not be rewarded,” Roger Goodell, commissioner of the NFL, said as he handed Rice his passes, which will allow him free entry into all four Disney World parks. “We need to send a clear message on where we stand.”

Rice, who also dragged his fiancé’s unconscious body out of an elevator after hitting her, is not the only player to recently face penalties for his actions off the field. Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon is facing a potential full-season suspension for failing the league’s drug policies on marijuana, making his suspension eight times longer than what was received for physically assaulting another human being.

“We recognize that our players are role models, and that our penalties and fines must match the severity of their actions,” Goodell added. “Our priorities are clear.”

Rice said the whole ordeal has been a humbling experience. “I know I’ve let people down. And now, having to miss two games, and go to Disney World for free, where they even gave me a bunch of Fast Passes so I don’t have to wait in line, I see now that my actions have consequences.”

After he returns from his two-game suspension and stay at the Happiest Place On Earth, Rice says he will partner with other NFL players to promote women’s issues, including Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger.

“We really respect women,” Roethlisberger said.

Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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