St. Paul, Minnesota – Sources report that self-proclaimed “Kebab King” Joey de Angelis has been anxiously following news of the conflict in the middle east spurred by the Iraqi militant group known as ISIS.
“This fighting has driven the price of kebab imports through the roof,” said Mr. de Angelis in an interview, “The kebab tree grows in a very limited area of the middle east, and right now I’m terrified at what’s going to happen to my business if this conflict continues much longer.”
But Joey de Angelis isn’t the only one worried about the future of Iraq. His 5 employees at the kebab stand are starting to get nervous too.
“I usually try to stay out of politics,” said kebab-man Tom Woodrich, “but with prices going up like this and the recent die off of California kebab trees, I don’t know if Mr. de Angelis is going to be able to keep all of us working.”
“I’m not saying the US should re-invade Iraq, but something needs to be done to keep these kabab prices down, or else the whole US economy could come grinding to a halt!”
It sounds like one way or the other, the kebab lobby is going to start putting some serious pressure on lawmakers to do something about kebab import prices.