First-Grader Protests Free Speech Restrictions

First Grader Protests Free Speech

Ryan Thomas stands up and speaks out.

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, flags were waving, and a classroom of first-grade students was quietly reading Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. It was an all-American scene straight from a Norman Rockwell painting. A scene that was about to be torn to pieces by one young student.

During a quiet moment as teacher, Ms. Henderson, went to turn a page, first-grader Ryan Thomas stood up from his desk, cleared his throat, and in a calm, clear voice, yelled the word, “booger.” The classroom immediately erupted and chaos reigned for the next few minutes.

In a shocked state, Ms. Henderson was able to stumble her way to the school intercom and call for help. Shortly after, the vice principal himself burst through the doors and escorted Ryan out of the room.

“You’re trying to destroy First Amendment rights to free speech,” young Ryan Thomas yelled as he was taken out of the room. “We have a crisis of freedom in this school. We’re ruled by money, not people. Follow the money!”

In a show of good faith, the school has promised to not press charges against Ryan, but warns that he’s skating on thin ice. Very thin ice indeed, young man.

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Robot Butt News Corp.

Author: Robot Butt News Corp.

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