Local chicken Jan Wilson is taking a stand against the term “jerk chicken.” “It’s rude, it’s crude, and it’s just plain unfair,” said Jan about the “jerk” label.
“Enough is enough,” squawked Jan, whose cooked flesh was mouthwateringly crisped to perfection. “I’m tired of being called a jerk. Maybe I’m just opinionated!”
The chicken’s friends, however, disagreed. “I guess I’d call myself her friend,” said Jan’s neighbor, Clarice Evans. “But it’s really one of those things where I’ve known her for so long it’d be weird to call her anything else.”
“It’s not that she’s a total nightmare to be around,” Clarice added. “But she’s, like, a super aggressive driver, and always has to point out every grammar mistake you make. And I’m not calling anyone a racist, but she sometimes makes racial jokes that are just a little too edgy for me.”
The savory and tender Jan Wilson was unavailable for further comment, as she couldn’t be reached from this reporter’s now filled stomach.