Our society is built on constraints. You can’t do this. You can’t say that. Most of the time, we lead a suffocating existence. But every so often, we are afforded opportunities to break free of those constraints, and we must seize them with every ounce of ourselves.
That being said, there will be times in your life when no one else is home and you need to use the bathroom. Though if you live by yourself, well, you’re one of the blessed ones. And if you pull this off with others around, you are not of this planet.
But when you are given this chance, and you need to poop, we implore you: do it with the door open.
Watch how it transforms you to your very core. You’ll think with a renewed sense of clarity, as if you are channeling the habits of your animal brethren, relieving themselves so freely in the wild. You’ll know nothing can stop you as you defy the arbitrary laws those before us have created. You are no longer a slave to barriers.
Believe me when I say the best idea you will ever have in your life will come while pooping with the door open.
Living in the 21st century, surrounded by innovation that controls our lives, we rarely have the chance to feel true liberation. Doing it as the door hangs open, daring someone – anyone – to watch you, you feel a surge course through your body, like the lines of communication with God have finally been opened, and He is ready to receive your call. The most righteous poop of your life awaits.
But the moment will end, and there won’t be any guarantees as to when you will have this chance again.