On August 21, FXX will begin airing every single episode of The Simpsons. All 552 of them.
The bloodbath will last from that day in August all the way through Labor Day, an endless marathon that will test the resolve and mental stability of even the most loyal fans of the show.
So will anyone be able to actually watch every single episode? Is someone out there even insane enough to try and sit through all of it?
There are, of course, a few logistical problems:
- This quest is limited to those without jobs or any other responsibilities, though extra points shall be awarded to the fan who quits his/her job to do this. That isn’t to say that other responsibilities won’t rear their ugly heads as well. Forget about them. If the people around you cared about you at all, they’d let you finish this in peace.
- Getting food while not missing anything will present an especially tough challenge; we would suggest finding a family member who can wait on you hand and foot. This family member (or friend) should be ready and willing to dispose of feces when the time comes.
- Watching all of the show essentially defies the laws of the human body, as no one can possibly stay coherent for that long without descending into complete, irreversible madness.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. These points are not meant to deter you; they are meant to inspire, to help you find the courage to dig deep within yourself and become the most important person of our time.
And should you die in the process, you will go down knowing it was for the best cause of all.